A well-known quote from the classic novel War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy starts with the phrase:
“All happy families are alike…”
While that is not exactly the case, all families are unique of course, it’s true that the happiest of families have have habits in common that lead to their overall well being, happiness, and strengthened relationships.
Happy family habits don’t have to be complicated, even your kids can adopt them making it easy for the whole crew to get on board. The most important habits of the happiest families that you can adopt show common threads of gratitude, communication, and presence.
Family Huddle
Informal and more fun than a “family meeting,” regular family huddles ensure that everyone in your family feels like part of the team. Use this time to touch base with each member of your family. In our family, we do this every Sunday night. Discuss what has been working in your home and where improvements could be made. Make sure everyone is aware of upcoming events and activities to cut down on stress and last-minute rushing. Cultivate an atmosphere of communication, encouragement, and helpfulness. When all members feel as though their voice is heard and important it’s easier to get on the same trajectory toward your family goals and vision.
Family Traditions
Family traditions and routines lend structure and consistency to the days, weeks, months, and years. In fact, kids thrive on routine and structure. Daily routines, like dinner together, or bath and story time before bed, help children feel safe and comfortable with a predictable schedule. This gives everyone a time to check in and stay on top of the ever changing family landscape.
Establish fun weekly and monthly traditions such as movie night, outings to favorite places, or maybe sleep-overs with the grandparents, to give kids something to look forward to. Having special holiday traditions are something your kids will cherish as they grow older and will want to pass down to their own children someday. Creating these memories now and reinforcing them on a consistent basis are keystones to happy childhood memories.
Show Gratitude
Families that show gratitude to each other are more likely to feel appreciated and valued for their contributions. Model respect and appreciation by thanking your spouse for even the smallest things in front of your children.
Be sure to thank your children when they are being kind, when they follow expectations, and when they complete tasks and chores. Creating a culture of gratitude within your family fosters a feeling of love and acceptance which leads to happiness.
Give Back to Your Community
It has been proven that the best way to feel better about yourself is to help someone else. Working toward a common goal that is important to your family will bring your family closer together.
Children that grow up volunteering with their families tend to have more empathy, be more caring and compassionate, and feel a stronger connection within their community.
Go on a “Date” With Your Child
Spending time alone with each of your children lets you focus completely on that child and their needs. Often, when you have multiple children (especially ‘multiples’) you divide your focus and attention among them all instead of being present with each one individually.
One on one time with your child allows you to listen with your undivided attention and spend your time participating in an activity they choose. Taking this time to bond with each of your children individually leads to stronger relationships with each of them as well as a stronger family unit.
Take the time to think about and discuss which happy family habits will increase the happiness of your family the most. After all, as Michael J. Fox said,
“Family is not an important thing. It’s everything.”
Do you have other tips to share or questions? I’d love to hear from you!
