When you own a business, it’s a given that you’re going all-in. I get it. I’ve been an entrepreneur for over 20 years, and crossing over the line from working hard to working too much is all too easy to do. But, it’s not only the business that needs our attention. It’s also our families, friends, and personal hobbies or pursuits. And in such a crazy time like right now, amid the COVID-19 pandemic, it’s all too easy to prioritize caring for others over caring for yourself.
But this isn’t sustainable. It’s damaging, and eventually, the cracks will show. I learned this the hard way many years ago when my time was stretched so thin I hardly saw my family. If I had been more aware, I would’ve realized what was happening but I missed the signs. If you’re constantly wondering how to get more time, here are some signs you’re stressed out and ways to improve self-care.
You’re always exhausted.
It’s normal to be tired from daily life, but it’s not normal to feel completely like you are running on fumes throughout the day. If you’re shortchanging yourself on sleep, or running yourself ragged, your body will make it clear. Never-ending exhaustion is a big sign something needs to change. To address this, I’ve been working on my sleep. 30-45 minutes before you want to get to bed turn off all the devices. If you are still thinking about the day, write down your thoughts.
You’re turning to unhealthy coping mechanisms.
Most adults enjoy indulging in cocktails or wine every so often, whether at parties or at the end of a long day but, how often is this your norm? If you find yourself not being able to make it through a day without picking up a bottle, it might be time to get help.
Alcohol and substances aren’t the only unhealthy coping mechanisms to watch out for, either. If you find yourself eating an entire package of Oreos after a stressful morning, food might be your way to cope. For this issue, try preparing each weekend healthier snacks such as carrots or trail mix.
Your health is declining.
Get out of breath after walking upstairs? Feel jittery often? If there’s a toll being taken on your health, something has to change and that something is that you need to be more selfish with your time – stat. Get up and get moving, especially now that most of us are working from our home and are going out and about a lot less often.
You talk to employees more than your family.
I love my business, and my team members are family to me but I also have a beautiful wife and two daughters who need my time and attention, too. If I’m too invested in the work side and not enough on the family side, I start to feel empty – and resentment starts kicking up at home. I make sure that I follow the same schedule I did when I was working out of the office before COVID-19 hit. Around 5pmish every day, I get off the computer and spend the rest of the night with my family. That is the one benefit of everyone self-quarantining themselves that my kids are forced to be home and that time together has overall been great. Of course, with most families, there is a situation of too much time together.
You’ve missed important dates or milestones.
Along the same lines of the sign above, is when things start to slip. If you forgot an important family member’s birthday or missed your child’s musical at school, you’ve probably overcommitted to the wrong things. Loved ones can be forgiving about missteps here or there, but forgetting important events or milestones can really leave a dent in the trust department.
You can’t remember the last time you did something for fun, or to relax.
I remember a time when people would mention what they did to relax, and I would laugh inside. Relax? What’s that? But that was before I got burnt out, and realized I had to reprioritize everything for my own health and sanity.
Now, I schedule time for fun and relaxation. It’s actually on my calendar, and that reminds me to make it a habit. If you “don’t have time” for hobbies or healthy habits like meditation, reading, and downtime, it’s time to make time.
You always say “yes.”
We’ve all heard about the dangers of being a “yes man” (or “yes woman”), but it’s easier to slip into that pattern than you might think. If you say yes to a colleague’s request to a partnership without thinking it through, you might say yes too much. If you say yes to helping at your kid’s school and then later feel angry they’re asking so much of you, you might say yes too much. Yes can be a beautiful thing, but only if you have the time and willingness to see it through. Otherwise, make it a “no.”
If you’ve seen any (or all) of these signs in your own life, you’re likely neglecting your own self-care. Here are some thoughts I want to share about prioritizing yourself and your health. Trust me – intentionality in this area will make a world of difference in your work, health and relationships.
Other Tips:
- Read the article “The 7 Benefits of Quiet Solitude.” One of my team members shared this with me, and it’s full of powerful insights. Here are two of my favorite quotes from it:
- “People don’t have enough silence in their lives because they don’t have enough solitude. And they don’t get enough solitude because they don’t seek out or cultivate silence. It’s a vicious cycle that prevents stillness and reflection, and then stymies good ideas, which are almost always hatched in solitude.”
- “If we want to think better, we need to seize these moments of quiet. If we want more revelations—more insights or breakthroughs or new, big ideas—we have to create more room for them.“
- Think about how you can create space – even a few minutes’ worth – for solitude, reflection and self-care. I’m planning to go up north to Flagstaff this fall by myself to reflect and take time for myself to process and give space for ideas with no formal agenda. Can you meditate every day, even for three minutes? Spend 10 minutes outside at night, looking at the stars? Say no more often? Anything helps.
Reach out to tell me how you’ve started taking better care of yourself! I’d love to hear.
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