How to Spend Crucial 1:1 Time With Your Kids

Children draw so much of their inspiration from their parents, while at the same time seeking so much approval from them. If you have a large extended family or many children, it can be easy to spend group time with them without spending quality one-on-one time with them very often. Many involved parents are surprised that their children want more time with them, only to realize that all of their time together is spent with screens, at organized sports, or in transit from one place to another.

When your children are at those important young ages, they want nothing more than to spend time with you one-on-one. According to Psychology Today, investing time early in even the least “productive” one-on-one activities can keep a relationship healthy and connected that otherwise could grow distant. There are many ways to work this time in:

• Suggesting a weekend morning tradition where you and one child get breakfast together can become a treasured time together, even if you mostly discuss how excited you are for pancakes.
• Reading a story or article together before bedtime, or being a constant companion during the teeth-brushing or pajama-time routines.
• Scheduling no-screen time when your child can suggest a game, imaginative play, or a story to read together. Even if they may have a hard time coming up with something at first, they can start thinking ahead and remembering things they want to do with you.
• For older children or middle children, consider inviting them one at a time into activities like cooking a meal with you or gardening a particular part of the yard.

These activities seem surface-level, but much like in other relationships in our lives, children sometimes take a long time to tell their parents what they are thinking. If they have regularly scheduled time with you, they are more likely to open up to you when they need something or when something isn’t going well. You are less likely to be blindsided by a child’s need or worry if you have regular moments when they can tell you before their problems become too large.

All of these reasons are more than enough, but there’s another bonus reason: it’s fun to spend time with one child at a time, even if you enjoy having more than one. You both get to focus more on what you like than when you are in a large group, which is a great feeling for you both.

I’d love to hear from you and what you do to to make your kids feel special!