Tips for Building a Strong Relationship with a Mentor

I recently wrote about the importance of mentoring in business and how to get a mentor who is right for you. But, once you’ve found a person who fulfills your ideal qualities of a mentor and has the capacity to dispense valuable entrepreneurial advice, what’s next? How do you actually start such a relationship, and ensure you’ll get as much as possible from it? Here’s some guidance. 

Discuss Structure & Commitment

One of the best pieces of advice I ever heard about hiring an intern or someone you’re not sure about also applies to mentorship: set it up on a trial basis. Even if you think the person you found is 100% right for you, you probably haven’t ever engaged with them in this exact capacity yet. So, you can’t say for sure it’ll work as you hope. Structuring it as a trial at first can give you both an easy out if it doesn’t. 

To make sure you’re both on the same page and prevent the chances of prolonging something that isn’t working, suggest to your mentor that you commit to a six-month program to start, with regular monthly (or even weekly) check-ins. The goal is to make sure they can make the time commitment you want them to, and will stick around for at least six months to see if it’s working for both parties. At that point, if it’s not, it’s easy to walk away with no hard feelings because you’ve both fulfilled your commitment. But if it is, you can extend it longer and go even deeper. 

Set Goals & Milestones

Once you know how regularly you plan to meet, talk through your hopes for the mentorship. This is the time to be completely honest. For example, let’s say you want to grow your company to a point at which your mentor’s company (or another business of the same stage and stature) is open to a possible acquisition. 

You might feel weird being so candid, but there’s no point beating around the bush. If your mentor has no interest in acquisitions, at least you’ll know now so you can look for other companies who might. But if they do, you’ve planted a seed and just might get closer to your goal. Either way, your mentor will appreciate your honesty and be able to help you more if they know what you’re truly hoping to achieve. 

Once you talk through your wishes, ask your mentor to help you translate them into actual goals with timelines attached. Then, break them down even further into smaller milestones. Put dates on them, so you can be held accountable. This is one of the best ways to make sure you get what you’re hoping out of the mentorship. 

Don’t Leave A Single Meeting To Chance

No matter how personable your mentor is, successful people have one thing in common: they’re very busy and tend to view time as money. If someone is making time to help you reach your goals, make sure you respect their schedule. Yes, your human relationship with your mentor is important, so it’s ok to ask about their dog or tell them a story about your kids. But don’t get carried away in small talk. Catch up briefly, and then move into the heart of what you’re meeting about. 

Also, make sure you have a goal in mind for each meeting. Never show up empty-handed or without questions. If you have at least some sort of problem in mind you want to discuss or an idea you want to vet, you’ll make the most of your time together and won’t have any awkward silences. Another great idea is to set a timer for the length of your meeting so you can end promptly. This demonstrates a great amount of respect for your mentor’s time, which will always be greatly appreciated. 

Get Immersive

Sometimes people think that a mentorship meeting is kind of like a job interview or a Q&A session. You grill your mentor about business questions, and they give you responses that have been forged in the fires of experience. While this can sometimes be how it goes, it’s actually far more beneficial when your time together is hands-on. Most mentors will enjoy working alongside you more than they’ll enjoy waxing philosophical, anyway. 

So, bring your work with you! Show them the spreadsheet that’s troubling you, and ask for their input. Share the deck you’re working on to present to investors, and see if they can help you work out the kinks. Tell them about the team member conflict you’re having, and see if they’ll play the role of an employee with whom you need to have a hard conversation so you can role-play how it will go. You’ll get infinitely more out of your time when you’re engaged in actual work together than you will simply volleying questions their way, so be prepared to direct it accordingly.

If you can’t tell, I place a premium on the value of mentorship. I hope you’ll get started finding the right mentor today and structuring the relationship for success. Any questions? I invite you to reach out to me directly, and I’m happy to make some recommendations.