I’ve been an entrepreneur for decades, and there’s one truth I can confidently declare: managing a business and life is hard. And frankly, entrepreneurs are sometimes the worst at recognizing their emotional issues and asking for help. We tend to overwork and overthink, chalking all of it up to our relentless work ethic and failing to admit it might be destroying us. But to strike that key balance between personal and professional, you need to listen to your emotions and open up to a support system. So, my advice for business owners is to try your best, but when you inevitably fall short – be OK with not being OK.
Be honest with yourself first.
Stop with the excuses. I don’t know about you, but I used to have a list of excuses as long as Scottsdale Road (that is a major road in Phoenix area for those that don’t live in AZ). When I felt stressed, I’d tell myself it was because I slept poorly. When I felt anxious, I’d blame it on the extra shot of coffee I’d had that morning. And when my family interactions were high on arguing and low on enjoyment, I assured myself it was my wife or daughters whose bad mood started it.
But I was lying to myself. I was stressed, anxious, and having family problems because I was overwhelmed by managing my business and my family. Until I recognized this, I couldn’t change any of it. What are your excuses? How are you hiding from the emotional parts of yourself that you don’t want to face? Look in the mirror, identify it and admit it.
Confide in a small inner circle.
When I launched my last business and was constantly stressed, I didn’t want to burden my family. I did what I thought at the time was the honorable thing: I retreated and withdrew. This, of course, only made things worse. My wife and kids had no clue why I was so unhappy, and my unhappiness spread through the house like a bad virus.
Through this time, I learned firsthand how important communication is. I finally opened up to my wife, and we talked about my feelings. I don’t know about you, but most of us would rather get a root canal than have to be vulnerable like that.
But I realized something shocking when I did this: it was healing. I still was overwhelmed but I had someone who could walk through it with me. My experiences inspired me to write a book helping entrepreneurs improve their family lives, and I’d argue fixing those relationships are more important than any business fixes you could ever try.
Above all, you must have a support system. You can’t go at this alone. Find people you trust and let them know what’s going on. This could be your spouse, your sibling, a best friend, a therapist, or anyone else, as long as they’re trustworthy and have your best interests at heart. Check-in with them regularly and ask them to help you.
Create purpose.
Running on your hamster wheel day in and day out will exhaust you, deplete you and ruin you. You have to have something you’re actually running toward, something that makes it all worthwhile. For me, it’s my family. I’m working hard to create financial security and a legacy for them. What are you running toward?
If you’re not sure, stop. Pause. Reflect. Consider how you want to achieve balance between your personal and professional life, and what makes you feel most accomplished. Is there a cause you want to champion? Are you committed to getting healthy? Do you want to devote more time to your family and less time to unimportant things? Spend some time with yourself and come up with monthly/weekly/daily plans to help you do this. Start small, but make every step count. Purpose is what will see you through on the hardest days, when you want to curl up in a ball and give up.
How do you handle it when managing business and family gets to be too much? I hope this advice for business owners is helpful, and I’d love to hear from you.
Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.