Whether it’s the cyclists on the Tour De France, the divers who rescued the young Thai soccer team members trapped in the cave, or the successful billionaire business owner who started with a dream and a plan on paper, they all share the same trait of mental toughness: the ability to stay on a course of action to successful conclusion. Along with training, “street smarts,” common sense, and the mentoring of others, these individuals’ emotional intelligence (confidence in the awareness of and ability to deal with negative thoughts, actions, and situations) prepares them for every challenge.
13 Pitfalls to Avoid and Stay Mentally Strong
There’s no room for a pity party
The mentally tough don’t feel sorry for themselves, or wish for a better, different, more fair or equal outcome to their situation. They understand it’s their hard work and decision-making that can change a situation, rather than dependence on what luck, fate, or anyone else does for them.
They respect authority, but don’t relinquish power
The mentally tough don’t provide control to anyone who targets them with insults and negativity. They know their reactions control the situation, and the adversary hoping to look superior gains no ground if no ground is yielded.
They’re not afraid of change (and my favorite one)
Changes don’t scare mentally tough people, it challenges them to think differently. “If it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you,” Fred Devito. To remain in one place intellectually kills growth and curiosity and breeds complacency. They understand change hurts and requires mindset modification, but it’s also very energizing.
They don’t worry about what’s out of their control
Life presents situations beyond the known and planned. The reaction(s) to these situations determine how the situations conclude. Misplaced personal property, lost documents, last-minute trip changes or cancellations infuriate, frustrate and distract as much as you allow them to.
They don’t aim to people-please (and one I struggle with the most)
The mentally tough strike a balance; they move through a situation with fairness, deciding a course of action based on best available information, without favoritism. They handle negative reactions from others with kindness and understanding, not as a personal affront.
They embrace the calculated risk
They understand diving into a situation without consideration and research is risky and foolish, and endeavor to understand as many risk factors as possible before moving ahead. There is no fear of the unknown, only the assurance that the risk taken is well-understood. Entrepreneurs are especially good at this!
They don’t live in the past
The mentally tough waste no energy living in past failures or previous glories, though they embrace and learn from both. They are forward-moving, forward-thinking individuals who understand optimal growth opportunities are ahead of them.
They learn from a mistake the first time
The path of the mentally tough is paved with mistakes, but the mistakes are usually one-time only occurrences. They reflect on what led to the error, take responsibility for it, repair the damage, and learn what’s needed to avoid it a second time.
They revel in other’s successes rather than resent them
There’s no bitterness in seeing even a rival reap rewards. The mentally tough enjoy the accomplishments of others while making mental notes on how they did it. The determination to meet and exceed those successes drives their next moves.
They don’t see failure as a time to give up and go
The mentally tough see failure as an opportunity to redouble their efforts. Failure is not a step backward, unless you fail to learn from it and move forward. They view failure as a smaller step towards meeting their goals.
They embrace alone time
The mentally tough enjoy social interaction but cherish their own company. Time alone is time for planning, writing, creative thinking, and rest. Alone is not isolation; it’s productive, restorative, and necessary.
They understand the world owes them nothing
Everything the mentally tough gain is done on their own merits; there’s no sense of entitlement to a fair, happy, fulfilled and comfortable life. The work they do breed the success they enjoy, they understand no one will simply hand them everything.
They don’t expect immediate results
The mentally tough work steadily for results, not instant riches. Whether it’s weight loss, physical fitness, job skills improvement, or a happier love life, they understand every achievement begins with smaller incremental successes (and some failures) that add up to the desired end result.
I’d love to hear from you and what traits you use to stay mentally tough or comment below.
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